And again, I'm back to my emo period.
Aku sumpah tak faham, recently semua masalah menjadi-jadi.
Aku dah memang give up dengan Allah, yang satu saat nanti, mungkin (cuma mungkin) dia akan bagi kat aku sikit kebahagiaan instead of seksa dunia yang tak henti-henti datang ni; aku dah give up untuk berharap macam tu.
Jadi, aku cuba google apa yang orang buat bila orang depressed. Smoke dah try, sekarang, cut.
Pathetic gila.
Aku try, tapi aku tak buat dalam-dalam, sebab aku budak medik, kalau terputus nerve, macam mana aku nak rawat orang in future. Hahah, kelakar. 'Future'. Aku selalu rasa (wish) aku mati muda. Aku dah tak sanggup nak layan dunia. Aku dah penat.
Apa pun, that cut, I just don't know about it. It gets me off from the world for a little while though. I just don't know.
The thing is, sebelum cut, aku ada try call bekas kawan rapat dengan bekas naqib aku. Tapi dua-dua network busy. Mungkin sebab diorang tengah usrah. Jadi, that little moment yang sebenarnya aku ada letak sikit pergantungan kat Tuhan untuk halang aku dari buat benda camtu, He didn't do anything. He didn't help. What am I to Him exactly? Just another creation to be sent to the hell?
And I wonder, if I gave that little hope if it ever occurs to my mind to suicide, will He let those good friends of mine continuing their usrah while I'm walking my path straight to the fire?
Will He, or will He not, do anything?
p/s : The reason I posted here, because I need to say something about this and I just know, if I tell people by mouth, it's just 'another Faiz's attempt to get attention'. But here? Well, those who follow never actually read, and those who read, never actually care. So, let us stay that way, okay :)
Aku sumpah tak faham, recently semua masalah menjadi-jadi.
Aku dah memang give up dengan Allah, yang satu saat nanti, mungkin (cuma mungkin) dia akan bagi kat aku sikit kebahagiaan instead of seksa dunia yang tak henti-henti datang ni; aku dah give up untuk berharap macam tu.
Jadi, aku cuba google apa yang orang buat bila orang depressed. Smoke dah try, sekarang, cut.
Pathetic gila.
Aku try, tapi aku tak buat dalam-dalam, sebab aku budak medik, kalau terputus nerve, macam mana aku nak rawat orang in future. Hahah, kelakar. 'Future'. Aku selalu rasa (wish) aku mati muda. Aku dah tak sanggup nak layan dunia. Aku dah penat.
Apa pun, that cut, I just don't know about it. It gets me off from the world for a little while though. I just don't know.
The thing is, sebelum cut, aku ada try call bekas kawan rapat dengan bekas naqib aku. Tapi dua-dua network busy. Mungkin sebab diorang tengah usrah. Jadi, that little moment yang sebenarnya aku ada letak sikit pergantungan kat Tuhan untuk halang aku dari buat benda camtu, He didn't do anything. He didn't help. What am I to Him exactly? Just another creation to be sent to the hell?
And I wonder, if I gave that little hope if it ever occurs to my mind to suicide, will He let those good friends of mine continuing their usrah while I'm walking my path straight to the fire?
Will He, or will He not, do anything?
p/s : The reason I posted here, because I need to say something about this and I just know, if I tell people by mouth, it's just 'another Faiz's attempt to get attention'. But here? Well, those who follow never actually read, and those who read, never actually care. So, let us stay that way, okay :)
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