On Becoming

Whether we realize it or not, we are becoming our parents in a way or another.
Good. Or bad.

A splash of genetics or somewhat an environmental confirmation that our body has devour, becomes what we are today.

I'm not sure when I heard my father tonight, creating a fuss over a simple thing in a very cukup-cukup makan restaurant, and I felt ashamed and embarrassed (while promising myself to never eat with him again, outside; like I promised before, over and over again) but yet, I almost did the same thing at another restaurant during my lunch time.

Well, that's not good. From the look of it, I can blame it on their parenting but on another level, really, what should (and can) I do about it? 

That's the bigger thing.

The Beginning and The End

I'm not sure why I am back here.

It could be because today is the beginning of my no-social-media life and I had no where to go to anymore. Or maybe it's just because it's the end of a very good person's life.

Therefore, I want to seek solace here.

Muhaimin's mom died today.

The closest experience I had on death was my grandfather whom, to be honest, I wasn't very close to. His death didn't really makes me feel anything. I thought back then, it was because my perception of death was just a simple transition of life from Earth to the Afterlife. It's not something you should be very sad about. Most of them are living happily waiting their big entrance to the Heaven.

But today, I doubt my low key reaction was because of that rational and instead the reason was simply that I didn't know my grandfather very well.

But Muhaimin's mother? I know her. More than my own grandfather.
So I'm feeling this tingles and sorrow hovering over me right now. This is the first time I feel sad of someone's death.
I only know her for a week two or so but yet, it was still a meaningful one.

When I was really close to Muhaimin in the early years, before I even met her, he told me about how his mom annoys him by being overprotective and what not. As if he is being over-watched too much and he doesn't have enough freedom. The typical 'only child' story that I've been hearing a lot.

But then, we had stuff going on and I had to live in his house for around two weeks. I was so blessed to meet her in real life. She was an amazing, energetic and caring mother. I saw how they both interacted. Despite whatever he said to me, I doubt that annoyance could ever beat the love and bond they shared. Muhaimin was so childish and helpless with his mother around and his mother? She was so motherly and wasn't shy to show it out.

There was something so special and big about their relationship. He was her only son and so was she to him.

They only got each other (sort of). And now her death, leaving him alone (sort of), how in the hell world will he have the strength to do that?

I'm now trembling while writing this.

Wallahi, I can't imagine what Muhaimin must have been through right now.

I am here. The WTees are here. But to compensate? We can never.
But we are here. I just hope that he knows that.

May Allah ease her.
May Allah ease him.

Amin.

What A Day

Today was a little bit tiring. Even now I'm writing with a poor spirit but I guess, I can't make my blog all about my petty pieces that were published in the newspapers. Life is more than that and today is one of them.

I started the morning badly. We (Mukhriz, Najie and I) were supposed to go to Qasmiah for sahoor at 2.30am but it didn't go as planned. It's quite a complex story but in the end, I felt like Najie was at fault because when I woke up at 3.00am, he's there on his boss chair studying. Well, I think it's Najie's responsibility to like truly wakes up and gets everyone going but rather he'd chose not to. I think it's either he doesn't really want to go to Qasmiah (since he preferred Fawwal better) or he doesn't want to go at 2.30am. But the thing about Qasmiah (of which, I've been there to sahoor tons of time last year) you have be there by 2.30am, not later than that. Or else, your sahoor comfort is at stake. Anyway, that's how messed up my mood was in the very early morning.

Then, comes the exam. I didn't study at all yesterday and I have to pack the materials of today's exam in seven hours or less.  So after I had my sahoor that was given by Syahmi (my housemate), I read 18 pages of past year questions. Then, I was left with another 75 pages. Just SEVENTY-FIVE. And stupid me decided to take a 15 minutes nap that turned to 3 hours sleep. I woke up at 8.15am and read the other 75 pages of past years during my whole trip to the university, like whaaa. So... Iz.

Anyway, after the exam, I told about my frustrations towards today's sahoor incident to Mukhriz. But somehow, he was instead focusing on how I told the story and something about me lying. For me I wasn't lying because it's my way and process of telling a story line. It would be a lie if I didn't tell the whole story but he's too caught up with that because he knows about how much I don't lie and again, I wasn't lying. That hurts a bit. Because when I say I don't lie but people thinks I'm a liar, then what makes me... me?

In the evening we were helping Mukhriz to move in with Luqman and Najie. It was tiring but not that it bothers much. Mukhriz did somehow accidentally stepped on my spectacles but I didn't really care about it. First, because I'm the one who didn't put it at a safe place. Second, because I've been planning to change to a new frame after I get back to Malaysia. Seriously, I've been planning that in my mind for couples of time especially during this past month since it was somehow crooked way before that. And yet again, when I said it's okay to Mukhriz and explained that I've already wanted to change new frame anyway, so it's not a huge deal, Mukhriz didn't buy it. He said I was bluffing and only taking care of his feeling. Because he said, it's the second time he stepped on my spec and there's no way, at both time I've already wanted to change my frame before he stepped on them. I'm not sure about the previous time, but I swear to God that I seriously planned to change the frame and only He knows how sad I was when Mukhriz still didn't believe me and offered money to replace it. Offering that money is an act of courtesy and that's him, I'm okay with that. That's why I love my best friends, because they are indeed good men. But not believing what I said, when they know I don't lie and what more if I even swore in the name of God? That's heart breaking.

So, to end this day, just now we had our iftar. I came late to Mandi Jami'ah. But everything was ordered and I was hoping nothing could go wrong this time because I was hungry and tired, meaning I could just explode at anytime if any shit happened. Let me tell you about Mandi Jami'ah. This is my new favorite Arab's cuisine place. Why? One, they are cheap. Two, I love because they put the ground nuts on top of every rice meal. So, I was expecting my lovely Mandi/Zurbeyan chicken on a plate of rice with nuts on top of it with Coke after a tiring day of fasting. But you know what? Everything went wrong. First, the price for a meal in Ramadan is more expensive. Second, they switched the coke to orange juice of which I hated because I don't like drinks with pulps (and because I want my frickin coke). Third, my best friends ordered Mozbi chicken which I hate but they did ask to change it to Zurbeyan but when the waiter changed it to Zurbeyan, here comes the Fourth, the nuts were left half from the normal quantity. So much for my happy iftar meal.

And also there were a little quarrel about today's sahoor incident and Mukhriz was a little overboard I think. But yeah. That's all.

I don't really blame anyone for this. I think, it's just me being oversensitive whenever I'm hungry and tired. So, I'll be like a guy on PMS. So, it's nobody's fault.

But yeah, things happened. It gets better though. Because I used to cry whenever this kind of disarray happens but this time, I'm more calm and quiet. I wasn't raging, depressed or anything. Thank God. And Mukhriz did text just now and said sorry of which I'm so glad he did that even though like I said, I didn't think it was his fault. I was just too oversensitive today. But still, I'm glad.

In the end, I am so blessed to have these guys as my best friends. They are good men, I'm more than sure and I would bet my soul for them. So, this is not a rant or anything. it's just I want to keep note of what happened today. That's all.

That's quite long. I can't keep my eyes open anymore. So, pray for my forensic exam tomorrow and I can't wait to go back to Malaysia the day after!

Till then.
Toodles.

Gula dan Guli

Salam.

Alhamdulillah .

Diberikan rezeki berturut-turut untuk tersiar karya dan yang terbaru berjudul "Gula dan Guli".
Boleh dapatkan surat khabar SelangorKini Edisi 5 Mei - 12 Mei 2017 untuk membacanya.

Atau boleh sahaja baca di pautan ini .

Buat pengetahuan, karya-karya yang tersiar di SelangorKini akan dinilai bagi Hadiah Sastera Selangor 2017. Kalau ada rezeki, siapa tahu, kan?

Hahah.

Apa-apa pun, terima kasih diucapkan kepada Tuan Editor Fazallah Pit kerana memilih karya saya untuk disiarkan.

Sebenarnya, jujurlah , malu juga tiap-tiap minggu karya tersiar. Tapi itulah, semangat pasca MPR 2017 masih berbaki . Tulisan yang tersiar kebanyakkannya saya tulis dalam tempoh itu cuma terbitnya sehingga ke hari ini. Sampai ditegur orang pula tu sebab bosan asyik nama saya je naik dalam Hebahan Karya Tersiar oleh Cikgu Helmi Ahmad di laman Facebook .

Sudah... tak tahu nak jawab apa bila orang cakap orang dah bosan dengan kita.

 

Kisah Anak Beranak

Salam!

What a very good morning,  indeed.

At last, after lots of trials (eight, to be exact :P), one of my piece managed to be published by Mingguan Malaysia newspaper.

Like whaaaa... 

But after rereading the poem, I still think there's a lot to be improved.

Anyway, managing to get my poems published for three weeks in a row after going out of Minggu Penulis Remaja 2017 is a good achievement, at least, that's what I think .

Well, now, my only hope is that I would be consistent and make a better quality poems by time.

Lastly, don't forget to get the Mingguan Malaysia today, okay?

Toodles! 

Kisah Anak Beranak, 30th April 2017

Meneguk Romantis Pujangga di Lereng Bukit

Alhamdulillah.

Rezeki sekali lagi apabila puisi berjudul "Meneguk Romantis Pujangga di Lereng Bukit" telah tersiar di dalam Utusan Malaysia pada hari Sabtu, 22 April 2017.

Puisi ini ditulis sambil mengenang seorang lelaki Bedouin yang datang kepada saya dan sahabat di Petra, Jordan. Lelaki itu orangnya ria dan murah dengan kata-kata muluk.

Aneh.

Tetapi, mungkin inilah yang dikatakan orang sebagai "free spirit".

Mungkin.

Mengirim Surat Semangat

Hey there.

I've been submitting a lot of poems to newspapers and magazines recently. Especially since Minggu Penulis Remaja 2017.

Well, even so, none of them were published. Maybe because I was too eager and couldn't be patient and thus it seemed to be taking forever.

So, I was walking with Najie and Mukhriz until I got bored and say, "Guys, pray for me that one of my work get published this week, okay?"

Both of them amin-ed.

And guess what?

Yup.

My first published poem for this year!

Alhamdulillah.

It's called "Mengirim Surat Semangat" and was published by Berita Harian on 16th April 2017. Here's the poem.

Lol, the one who gave me this pic even highlighted my name XD

Funny thing is, for last year, my first poem too was published in April and also by Berita Harian. Well, thanks to the Editor, Mr Nazmi Yaakub for selecting my poems and giving me a chance. At least, now, I can call myself a writer.

Learning, still.

Lol.

Till then,

toodles!

Minggu Penulis Remaja (1)

"How was your holiday in Malaysia, Iz?"

Soalan ini bertalu-talu ditembak usai saya kembali ke tanah Syam yang semakin garang matarinya.

Mengingat kembali kenangan hampir dua minggu lalu tidak sukar. Saya mendepani pelbagai cabaran untuk menyertai program ini. Sementelahan keberadaan saya di Jordan sebagai pelajar perubatan tahun lima. Walau bagaimanapun, aturan Tuhan lebih hebat dan bijaksana.

Minggu Penulis Remaja

Sejujur-jujurnya, niat saya hanya satu; mendapatkan gelaran sebagai alumni MPR . Ya, saya sertai MPR semata kerana nama. Panggillah saya superfisialis, dan saya akan akui dengan rela. Siapa tidak mahu berada seiring dan sejajar dengan nama-nama hebat alumni ini? Jujurlah .

Poster Permohonan MPR 2017

Saya mula terlibat dalam dunia penulisan dengan menghadiri bengkel penulisan kendalian Puan Nisah Haji Haron(1993) dan Kak Salina Ibrahim(1991). Meneruskan pengajian di bumi Jordan, saya bertemu pula Abang Shafiq Said(?) dan sempat berguru dengannya. Abang Haniff Yusoff(2009) dan Kak Ainunl Muaiyanah(2006) pula seringkali berinteraksi dengan saya di media sosial sejak beberapa tahun dahulu. Sebagai ahli aktif Grup Karyawan Luar Negara, saban hari laman Facebook saya dipenuhi pos Abang Fahd Razy(2000). Nah! Mereka inilah yang mewarnai minat saya terhadap dunia penulisan sastera.

Bengkel penulisan pertama dan alumni MPR pertama saya kenali adalah
Puan Nisah Haron pada tahun 2009 

Dan hari ini, saya menjadi sebahagian daripada mereka.
Apakah ada nikmat yang lebih bahagia dari ini?

Di awal mula, saya sedikit tidak senang. Saya membelanjakan lebih RM2000 untuk membeli tiket kapal terbang, ditambah RM200 sebagai yuran penyertaan. Dalam bahasa kasar, saya membeli nama dengan harga RM2200. Dan mungkin sahaja peserta lain adalah dari sekolah menengah entah mana-mana yang sebenarnya tak mengerti pun peri pentingnya program ini! Alangkah ruginya.

Kalau yang pasti hebat pun adalah Taufiq Roslan yang saya sendiri beria-ia mengajaknya di Instagram kerana dia adalah kenalan sahabat karib saya di Jordan. Taufiq mempunyai satu kumpulan puisi berjudul "Sahifah Buat Kekasih" keluaran Grup Karyawan Luar Negara yang mana, saya pun masih skeptik dengan kehebatan Taufiq kerana saya tahu, ketika itu GKLN ingin mempromosikan ahlinya untuk berkarya dan menerbitkan buku masing-masing buat kali pertama. Maka, mungkin sahaja karyanya tidak berkualiti dan sekadar cukup-cukup makan tetapi masih dilepaskan dengan menutup sebelah mata.

Memang bersungguh mengajak budak ni 

Sejurus program bermula, saya mengenali seorang demi seorang. Dan demi masa yang berlalu, Tuhan ingin mengajar saya ketika itu.

Astaghfirullah, betapa buruknya prasangka saya. Rata-rata yang saya kenali (lelaki terutamanya) adalah penulis-penulis hebat yang datang daripada pelbagai latar belakang dan bukan calang-calang 

Dua daripada mereka, Johan Radzi dan Azrin Fauzi, masing-masing pernah tersenarai karyanya dalam Cerpen Terbaik 2014 dan 2015 keluaran Fixi. Abdul Karim, Akif Jebat, Muhammad Ramadani dan Muhammad Fadzli karya mereka banyak tersiar secara eceran dalam majalah dan surat khabar. Iman Danial pula ada menulis dalam "Lalu Aku Hidup Sebagai Apa?" yang merupakan buku bacaan semasa saya sebelum datang ke MPR. Abdul Rashid adalah pelajar penulisan skrip di UITM. Hatta yang paling muda dan kononnya paling tidak berpengalaman, adalah Ryinaldi dan Ammar yang baru sahaja selesai Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia 2016, dan mereka ini adalah bekas peserta Tunas Remaja Kebangsaan! 

Oh ya, saya berkesempatan membaca "Sahifah Buat Kekasih". Ya Tuhan, karya-karya yang berjaya saya baca selintas lalu itu, membuatkan diri ini jadi kerdil . GKLN tidak mengeluarkan karya cukup makan, tetapi karya yang memakan hati saya!

Pernah beli, tapi tak baca. Bila ke MPR, baru curi baca tuan dia punya

Bersambung...

In Love

It's been a while (this has to be the most used phrase in my blog XD)
BUT...

I'm back again!

Yip! yip!

*KingCoco style*


Anyway, I'm not supposed to be here for too long but...

can I tell you a secret?

I already told you in the title actually.



Yup,

I'm so much in love. Like wha...
Hahah. Yes, you read that right.

And let me tell you, she is so perfect.
She's the kind of person who fits my missing piece.
She's also the one with all of the stuff that I said when someone asked me what kind of girl would I love to have as my girl and to be really damn honest, that's a lot of list and she's all that. Can you believe it?

I can't tell you exactly how she's the perfect one but trust me when I say so.

Oh man.
How in the heaven, I managed to actually find her, right?

God's being so nice to me nowadays.
Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

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